It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that me and Andrew will be celebrating our five year wedding anniversary next Saturday, June 27th. It seems like ages ago but at the same time how could five years possibly have passed since that day!?
I was reminiscing about our wedding day and everything that was perfect and everything that was flawed and everything I would have done differently. I was clueless back then and I didn’t know the first thing about planning a wedding. Lots of little details were missed but those aren’t the things that stay in my memory.
I remember trying to read my vows and being sure that no one except Andrew could hear me because I had lost my voice that morning.
I remember riding away in a horse-drawn carriage after the ceremony and wanting to pinch myself because I couldn’t really believe we were now husband and wife.
I remember dancing to “Then” by Braid Paisley and feeling like it was just the two of us in the room even though we were surrounded by our friends and family.
I remember belting out the words to “Elephant Love Medley” from Moulin Rouge and “Summer Lovin” from Grease (as much as I could with my lack of voice) and not giving a care in the world about how silly I looked.
I remember running through a sea of bubbles and then hugging friends and family good bye as we took off to our hotel. And that amazing moment of sweet relief in the car when I took off my heels for the first time all day!!
There were so many wonderful moments I will never forget. And you will have these moments, too. And you will look back on them five years from now and you will wonder where the time has gone… you might question some of your choices about colors or decor or music but the one thing you won’t question is your love standing by your side in the photos you’re scrolling through. You will feel grateful because while times haven’t always been easy, you have endured and you are stronger than ever. You might have a family now and you might look at your husband in a whole new light when you see him as a dad. There will be times when he drives you crazy and when your kids drive you crazy too but you are living the life you have always dreamed of, and you are happy.
If I’ve learned anything over these last five years, it’s that good communication is absolutely necessary to maintain a quality marriage. I think we were “okay” communicators when we said ‘I do’. And we definitely got in to a lot of arguments those first couple of years… about stupid things. Like really stupid things. I am happy to say that we are pretty excellent communicators now, in my humble opinion, but it took a lot of work. You have to talk about things even if you don’t want to. If something is bothering you, talk about it. Don’t bottle it up inside because it WILL explode later.
I also want to add that I think a forgiving heart is going to come in handy a lot, too. I am a forgiver by nature and I get over things really quickly, but I know not everyone is that way (and this is both a good and bad thing, I might add). You are going to say hurtful things, you are going to want to sleep on the couch at one point or another, you are going to want to slam the door or throw something. Trust me. If you can, try not to go to bed angry and get things out in the air before it gets to that. You will have to forgive each other a lot, but the better you get at forgiving, the less you will have to forgive. I know that seems opposite of what it should be, but I do believe it’s true!
Lastly… love is a choice. It’s not just a feeling that you have, and it’s not always the way the media portrays it be either. I personally think many marriages end in divorce because of unrealistic expectations, which are often set forth by the media. People see couples in movies and think “oh, that’s how it’s supposed to be… why isn’t my relationship like that?” and think that they can find that with someone else. Sorry, but that’s just not the case. Love takes commitment, and love takes work. If it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth fighting for. Someone told me “love is a choice” early on and it’s always stuck with me. I will choose to love my husband every day because we made a vow to each other five years ago and even when I want to punch him in the face, I will still choose to love him.
Apparently this turned in to a marriage advice post, which is weird, because I am really not a marriage expert by any means…. basically I just got lucky and married a really awesome guy. ;) Truth is, no relationship is perfect and even the “best” couples are going to have some issues. But the good news is you have chosen your partner wisely and you are just embarking on your amazing new journey together. I am so excited for you and am wishing you all the love and joy in the world!